• Sanjoni

Every time a rape incident occurs which is brutal, people in the society are filled with rage. It should be this way and no other way. But, have we thought about why do we become angry when it is severe trauma caused to a life?

There are women in India who get sexually assaulted every three seconds and physically beaten every ten seconds. Worldwide, girls have been raised by their parents with restrictions. We have been living in a society that cannot trust the actions of its members. Is this the society you’ve dreamt?

It is true that men also experience abuse. How many times have we talked about it? Or are we waiting for it to become rape culture for men too because certainly women do not have it any other way?

I was filled with anger and rage when I read about another brutal rape. But, I didn’t have the energy as a woman to talk about it before this.

Dear Society and our government – We women are tired of wanting to feel safe. It is from our birth our parents become vigilant creatures who cannot celebrate the birth of a daughter. Instead, our parents enlisted rules – do not step out after 7 pm, wear clothes so that men don't get provoked, don’t speak with my brother’s friends, look down when you walk, and be conscious if you gain weight. We have grown up believing we are a piece of meat that will be preyed upon forever. We can be of any age, it doesn’t matter. We just need to have a vagina.

People are talking about consent. People are discussing mental health. You know what is bothering me the most – when an ordinary girl told her parents that I don’t like the way my cousin looks at me, nobody cared. That is what is alarming. This is where we needed to STOP. We should have acted then, look where we are now.

Mothers who shut their daughters, fathers who beat their girls, teachers who ignore their students’ plea, and cousins, uncles, and friends who take advantage of children – They are all at fault. We as a society have failed. Two days to the news of Hatharas girl dying – everyone started posting on social media.

Is our anger only relevant to show on social media platforms? Are protests the only way to deal with this?

We elected people who failed. We as a society have failed. Some of us know that we don’t obey rules and norms, then we curse the government for poor execution. I am not sure who is to blame here – men, government, women, or maybe – ALL OF US. We are equally at fault.

We waited for a Nirbhaya and Hathras case to speak against something which has been happening silently over the years.


An Unsafe Daughter of India

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You can empathize when you connect & you can support each other when you belong!

Have we thought what in the lockdown made social isolation so difficult for people?

Weren’t we socially isolated from each other way before the lockdown?

We were next to our parents but always occupied on our mobile phones, and work was our best excuse. When with a spouse, we let Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hotstar become our best friends before each other. Our outings with friends were all about the next Facebook and Instagram pictures we wanted to post.

Social isolation started before was imposed on us. It was uncomfortable because of the force. The struggle seems real because we were unable to connect emotionally and mentally with family and friends. We started finding family unbearable without healthy boundaries.

Nothing will change even now when we meet our friends. We will still think of the best picture to post on social media. So let me ask you this - when our friends are the social partners, instead of telling them you missed them, how does posting a picture help?

Suddenly, we all want to go to our offices, schools, colleges, and institutions. When we were going to work, we wanted to work from home. Now, it’s become more of a challenge than a choice.

Human beings are funny. We always have sides to pick without knowing the experience of both the sides. We were socially distant from our loved ones much before the pandemic. It should have been easier for us to adapt. Unfortunately, we failed. We connected so we can virtually tell people about the essential elements of human existence – belongingness!

A virus invisible to the naked eye was required to make us realize – we still need people over machines to continue with our survival. It’s time to connect with family and friends – emotionally and spiritually.

Machines can churn products, and human beings sustain lives.

To belong is to connect deeply with people around you, in person, and mind!

#mindoverbody #mentalwellbeing #belongingness #isolation #connection #socialisolation #lockdownstories #supporteachother

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“Just make a list of five things you are grateful for every day. You’ll be surprised to see the list never ends!”

To have gratitude for so many things that one has can enforce positive elements in life. For a person battling with depression, anxiety, or a personality disorder such as borderline, it is useful to use the power of gratitude in your life.

In a depressive state when negative feelings trap you completely, it is then that we consciously start listing out things, relationships, and opportunities we are grateful for. It wouldn’t miraculously change a condition you are suffering but it would definitely give you a way forward.

Think and imagine, a person you love dies by suicide tomorrow. The first thing people would believe is that life is a precious gift and one should completely celebrate it. So, the first thing to do when you wake up is to thank yourself and the universe for keeping you alive. And, then you realize, you are healthy, safe, and able. These are things to be grateful for because it isn’t about what you don’t have, it’s about what you have. It is about your ability during a crisis.

Recently, I read somewhere that when you’re sick and you focus on the sickness, it doesn’t go away. It rather stays. Similarly, when you are down and out, feeling like you are not good enough for your friends and family. Take a minute and thank yourself for living despite struggling every single minute. Thank your-self for your body that offers support, thank your mind for not giving up, and be thankful that you may be suffering but are able!

I tried making a list of things that I’m grateful for and I realized – I was holding onto a version of myself I disliked without appreciating a strong version of myself, which exists. I was hoping to have a stronger sense of self-giving away the different versions. Sometimes, you have to thank yourself before anyone else does that to you!

#positivepsychology #optimism #hope #attraction #mentalhealthandcopingskills #gratitude #mentalwellbeing

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