We call it a man’s land and all we do is talk about women's disputes.

Men are at the receiving end of stereotypes, prejudice, and biases too. Have you heard the phrase, “men don’t cry,” it starts early in life for them too? Boys are asked to like the color blue because pink makes them look uncool. Did anyone ever wonder if colors are gender-specific too?

While growing up he said, “I want to learn cooking,” but he landed up with guns and video games on his shelf. He didn’t want to be an engineer, he wanted to be called an interior decorator or a chef. It is so strange that restaurants recruit maximum male chefs and we propagate at home that the kitchen isn’t a boy's best friend.

Boys love to chatter – put their feelings into words. It is just they prefer hidden corners in the fear of being called a girl. Sexism is all around us, either a man becomes woman alike or is called-out as gay. At 15, he was wondering if “my bicycle isn’t manly enough, I will swing between homosexuality and femininity.”

The transition between adolescence and manhood was to learn to toughen up. If women are treated as sex objects, don’t miss out that men are evaluated as the success objects. Their chivalry is demanded but mistaken as a weakness. Nice boys are not masculine enough and their narcissism is toxic enough. Is there a middle ground?

The price tag attached to them isn’t of a beauty standard, it is their monetary savings. He didn’t want to be a breadwinner, he wanted to be a sit-at-home dad. He was told, “be man enough to take responsibility” and now he is known as “The man with the four-bedroom flat.”

This wasn’t the end of his journey, it’s just a start. Wait till he struggles as a son and a husband and falls apart. He couldn’t be the man of her dreams because society always told him, “your mother has sacrificed all her life for your needs.” He was conditioned to be a momma's boy – a different notion to man-up.

Now that you know that men struggle too, let’s find out about their encounters of abuse too. He wrote in his journal, “other men touch me too, I am just not allowed to be loud as you.” When the society tells you, it is a man’s land, let’s come together to realize – men are afraid of it too!

Take a minute and tell your father, brother, husband, and friend – you’re allowed to talk, vent, and cry without being judged by the unsaid rules.

#menandconditioning #menandmentalhealth #menandpatriarchy #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #mendontcry #themadnessforreal

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  • Sanjoni

“My mother folded hands to you on our wedding & my father asked you to forgive my mistakes, that’s when I failed.”

The more you allow yourself to be abused, the parts of the brain are conditioned to it. It is similar to tolerance to alcohol. Once addicted, any amount is less. The suffering behind trauma is inexpressible. I feel lost, isolated, and numb. It’s like a rollercoaster – sad one minute, blank the next minute. It’s like I ‘m always on the go. I feel like it’s a curse to be born a woman. If you’re unmarried, there seems to be an invisible chain around you. This chain is a woman’s keep-in-check-boundary.

If I have to go out, I have to ask. If I wear a dress, I have to explain. If I speak up, I have to mellow down my words. I am educated yet I feel tamed. It all comes down to a family and their happiness. My journey holds no truth. Education has no barrier but no one taught me, education does not affect diplomacy.

It is like I have an unsaid rule set by my parents and this society, I can only talk about what is suitable to the men of this country. It is after you’re married, you realize women too belong to patriarchy. I gave up my name, I changed my house, I changed my bed-sheets. It took me years to accept the changed taste of my food, and the new colors of my room. If this wasn’t enough, I changed my best friend from my mother to an empty wall.

I’ m not happy because I’m so confused. We’re propagating for an equal world, we’re still thinking women will adjust to this too!

I am confident in myself but I lack trust in this society. Mostly, anything I say or do is unacceptable. I mean, it is understandable, the society I grew up in accepts rape threats to women, there is room for domestic violence, women are considered responsibilities, one of them has to still look after - either a father or a husband.

I never imagined that womanhood is about being submissive. I want to scream & shout, cry & curse. I haven’t been a version of myself – unable to manage my emotions in the process of pleasing you!

We are born to be abused in every domain. I am trained to cook, clean, and care. But, I am not ready to be cared. Maybe if you look beyond, sex objects don’t have feelings. Unfortunately, I do.

From the word woman comes man, the world still questions, Who?

Every visit that I leave my parents home, I tell myself, one day I’ll walk free, neither a daughter nor a wife, just a woman!

#feminism #mentalhealthmatters #themadnessforreal #womenandmentalhealth #patriarchy #women #men #genderequality #mentalhealthawareness

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My body has completely shut down. My calves hurt and it’s not painful, it feels there is a steam engine flowing in them. The heat and the flow make my legs so fatigued. My eyes are watering and my mind says I should cry. I want to cry and get this unpleasant feeling out of me, can I cry, No!

My forearms feel heavy. It’s so difficult to lift my body. When I sit, I seem to be falling and have no control over my physical self. I want to get up and work as there is a to-do list, but I can barely put my mind to even get one thing done. When I sit to read, I read slow, super slow, and barely register a word. I can't seem to concentrate. I have been waking up earlier than my usual time and then try to sleep more but I keep waking up. On one end, I am so sleepy that my eyes are shutting down, and on the other end, I am unable to sustain any sleep.

I want to talk about this feeling because it makes me so vulnerable. I think I am disabled but I tell myself that I am not weak. I am not tired but I feel drained. I don’t wish to eat instead I binge eat. It feels like nothing is in my hands and I am losing myself into a deep, dark place maybe, that’s why they call it Depression.

Nothing seems to be right, it seems all is loosening away. I am losing interest step by step from my favorite things to do but you know I still want to do all those things. Things that I love exercising, writing, painting, and reading seem more like chores to me than fun elements. My mood is not just upset, it is depressed. It is dropping as if it had an automatic meter attached to it and the lower it drops, the colder I become. It all seems to be slipping away from me, I seem to be slipping away from myself.

I am trying to tell you, folks, in as many words I know, “I don’t feel well or good today” and it’s not because the day is dull for all of us. So, hey, I am just not having a bad day but I need help. This feeling is intolerable and inexpressible.

I want this feeling to end. I want this helplessness to go away. I want to be the version of myself that was productive and happy. The version who believed I am able.

#Depression #mentalillness #mentalhealth #disability #depressiveattack #majordepressivedisorder #illness #depressedmood #lowmood #depressionisnotsadness


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