Acknowledging and expressing all the emotions are equally important. Ever wondered why we all attempt to hide our anger and display happiness?
Everyone seems to nurture each other with positivity. You’ll often hear people in the family say, “don’t be angry, it is not nice”. This is a strange reaction because it is an emotion that anyone can experience. Anger is the outcome of other feelings. A commonly used phrase “feeling low” can result in anger. People who feel hurt, frustrated, annoyed, pain, or disappointment display anger to deal with such feelings. Imagine suffering from an autoimmune illness. It restricts your diet, outings, and reduces immunity. This chronic suffering creates pain and disappointment within an individual. It leaves a person feeling helpless.
Helplessness is a state of mind when we feel there is no control. Human beings prefer to be in a position where they can take charge. There is a sense of security in taking control. Similarly, hurt and disappointment build a sense of powerlessness especially, concerning other individuals. When disappointment occurs from self, it involuntarily makes one feel angry with oneself. Anger has numerous layers to it before it shows up. Hiding anger is to suppress pain, hurt, disappointment, frustration, and helplessness. In the process of ignoring our angry state of mind, we end up piling our emotions.
Look at it this way – you have a to-do list for the day. Among all the work, one of them is to clean the dishes. You decide to leave them until the afternoon. You’ve finished work from home, spent time with family, played with your pet. While you were occupied in work, it kept coming back to your mind to return to clean the dishes. Now, you’ve come to wash the dishes. Suddenly, you remember to call a friend to check on them. You try to hang-up many times between the conversation knowing you have to clean the dishes for dinner. Soon it is time for supper and your family waits for you at the dining table but you are cleaning the utensils so you can serve the food.
Emotions like anger are similar to the dirty dishes you have to clean!
You can’t leave such feelings to deal with them later. These emotions keep popping up every then and now. To eat food, it was imperative to clean the utensils. To spread love, share happiness, and laugh freely, it is crucial to acknowledge our emotions. It is easier said than done to reach the end goal which, is to be positive. It is like choosing a destination without knowing the route to take. While positivity seems to be the destination, the ways to reach this state of mind remains unknown. To reach a destination is an achievement but one learns by taking the journey.
The journey to spread love and share happiness begins by expressing emotions. We have to step ahead and look beyond the expression of happiness. Recognizing anger, shame, or guilt is equally important. Further, expressing such emotions are essential to make way for joy. When a mind is storing unattended emotions, it is creating a to-do list that needs checking. A human being has both strengths and limitations. They exist together to create a strong, independent individual. So are the emotions.
Feeling positive or negative, emotions make one more humane!
Foremost, it is important to acknowledge these emotions exist. Acceptance only comes when there is acknowledgment. To heal, communicating about hurt, disappointment, guilt, or anger is one method to attend to such emotions. Writing, dancing, painting, or poetry are artistic forms to let-out these emotions. Sometimes there is frustration when we are angry or carry guilt for a long time. It is okay to step aside from others to scream, shout out, or cry. At last, one can seek psychotherapy to experience every emotion.
The next time you see someone angry, tell them it is okay to be angry….
It is only when we take the journey does healing begin!